Some funny signs
In a non smoking area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action"
On maternity room door:
"Push, Push, Push."
Plumber:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment"
At the electricity company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."
Outside a hotel:
"Help! We need inn-experienced people."
On the door of a computer shop:
"Out for a quick byte."
Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeons office:
"Hello, can we pick your nose?"
Sign at the psychic's hotline:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."
At a laundry shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
On an electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
At an optometrists office:
"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a butchers window:
"Let me meat your needs."
Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
On a desk in a reception room:
"We shoot every third salesmen, and the second one just left."
In a veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
In a restaurant window:
""Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a counselor's office:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."
THE END. DO YOU LAUGH? HOPE YOU DO.
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action"
On maternity room door:
"Push, Push, Push."
Plumber:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment"
At the electricity company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."
Outside a hotel:
"Help! We need inn-experienced people."
On the door of a computer shop:
"Out for a quick byte."
Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeons office:
"Hello, can we pick your nose?"
Sign at the psychic's hotline:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."
At a laundry shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
On an electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
At an optometrists office:
"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."
On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
On a butchers window:
"Let me meat your needs."
Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
On a desk in a reception room:
"We shoot every third salesmen, and the second one just left."
In a veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
In a restaurant window:
""Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
Inside a bowling alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."
In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."
In a counselor's office:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."
THE END. DO YOU LAUGH? HOPE YOU DO.
