J-BLOG - Under reconstruction...sorry for the mess... =)

一个鸡蛋去茶馆喝茶，结果它变成了茶叶蛋；

有一个鸡蛋跑去松花江游泳，结果它变成了松花蛋；

有一有个鸡蛋跑到了山东，结果变成了鲁（卤）蛋；

有一个鸡蛋无家可归，结果它变成了野鸡蛋；

有一个鸡蛋在路上不小心摔了一交，倒在地上，结果变成了导弹；

有一 个鸡蛋跑到人家院子里去了，结果变成了原子弹；

有一个鸡蛋跑到青藏高原，结果变成了氢弹；

有一个鸡蛋生病了，结果变成了坏蛋；

有一个鸡蛋嫁人了，结果变成了混蛋；

有一个鸡蛋跑到河里游泳，结果变成了核弹；

有一个鸡蛋跑到花丛中去了，结果变成了花旦；

有一个 鸡蛋骑着一匹马，拿着一把刀，原来他是刀马旦；

有一个鸡蛋是母的，长的很丑，结果就变成了恐龙蛋；

有一个鸡蛋是公的，他老婆在外面和别的鸡蛋通奸，结果他变成了王八蛋；

有一个鸡蛋......

什么？还想看？好吧！

有一个鸡蛋，正在看这篇蠢话，结果他变成了蠢蛋！

哈哈哈! 别打我哦！旨在娱乐大众。=P

Hehe... Saw a post in Jeannie's blog introducing this gematriculator. lol!

This tools can actually rate how evil or how good are our blog!


Proudly present...


http://jefferynet.blogspot.com is certified:








(p/s: Jeannie... My blog is less evil than urs o! haha! joking only. =P)

*******************************************************
Introduction of this tools.

Basically, it is a set of calculation which searching for different patterns through the text, such as the amount of words beginning with a vowel.

If the amount of these matches is divisible by a certain number, such as 7 (which is said to be God's number), there is an incontestable argument that the Spirit of God is ever present in the text.

Another important aspect in gematria are the numerical values of letters: A=1, B=2 ... I=9, J=10, K=20 and so on. The Gematriculator uses Finnish alphabet, in which Y is a vowel.

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Hehe! Whether you believe this or not, this website is really fun to try out! So everyone out there, try this gematriculator and tell me your result ya! Bye!

Well, im not talking bad words! Fucking here is not a bad words as you think! Im not here to fucking any one. haha! Don't angry, continue your read to find out!

Two old friends, a Chinaman and a Malay were having a conversation.


Apek : Lu potong zaka ada bagut kah?

Ali : Manyak bagut. Bila lu potong haa, lu punya barang manyak bersih loo.

Apek : ?!!...err…saya kawan ada cakap, potong zaka aahh…manyak ploblem.

Ali : Apa probrem?

Apek : Manyak buang lui…lagi aahh…dia punya performance talah bagut….
Manyak cinang semputloh.

Ali : Cehh, apek. Lu apa celita. Saya suda lama potong. Tada apa probrem.
..bini saya manyak puas woo…

Apek : Lu mini puas sama itu potong zaka ka?

Ali : Ya laa. Bila lu potong aahh, lagi sedap maen woo….
Lu lagi lambat pancut.

Apek : ???!!!...err…lu punya 1.3 atau 1.5?

Ali : ….??!!....woi apek…cakap baik2 sikit laa. Saya punya 6 inci lah.

Apek : ??!...Tiew nia sing…lu jangan maen2 haa…mana ada potong zaka 6 inci?

Ali : Cilaka apek ni…nak tengok…(unzip his trousers)

Apek : Chee sin punya olang. Gua tanya baik2….lu tunjuk lu punya lanchiau.

Ali : Abis…lu tarak percaya….saya tunjuk la.

Apek : Saya talah tanya sama lu punya lanchiau…
Saya tanya lu pasal it nasional car…potong zaka…molo punya olang.

Ali : Aiya apek…lain kali lu sebut betul2 la…kasi susa saja…
Bukan potong zaka la….proton saga.


END... = )

Ah Beng - NEW STUFF

* My friend Su Yee send me this email. Its very funny joke. I wish to share with you all here. Have a look. : )

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Ah Beng bought a new mobile.He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,'My Mobile No. Has changed.Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'

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Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

==========================================

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

===========================================

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

=========================================

Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,Oh GOD! U have come again.

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Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing,except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'

=========================================

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'

=============================================

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.

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Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecastannounced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it wouldbe hot.

==================================================

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up andSays 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'

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Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

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Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'

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Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

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A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not in the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

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In a non smoking area:
"If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action"

On maternity room door:
"Push, Push, Push."

Plumber:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive."

At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment"

At the electricity company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."

Outside a hotel:
"Help! We need inn-experienced people."

On the door of a computer shop:
"Out for a quick byte."

Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tire shop:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

Door of a plastic surgeons office:
"Hello, can we pick your nose?"

Sign at the psychic's hotline:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."

At a laundry shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"

At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

On an electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

At an optometrists office:
"If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."

In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a butchers window:
"Let me meat your needs."

Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."

On a desk in a reception room:
"We shoot every third salesmen, and the second one just left."

In a veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"

In a restaurant window:
""Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."

Inside a bowling alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully, we'll wait."

In a counselor's office:
"Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional."



THE END. DO YOU LAUGH? HOPE YOU DO.

This story is a about a guy who goes to a police station to make a report
and here is the starting of the story

Man: ' Hi sir, I would like to complain about one of your police officer,
who have assaulted me at the cafe.'

Sergeant: ' Can I have your name pls?'

Man: 'Batman'

Sergeant: 'Batman?'

Man: 'Yes, Batman.'

Sergeant: 'You trying to be funny is it?'

Man: 'No.'

Sergeant: 'Than what is your father's name?'

Man: 'Suparman'

Sergeant: 'Hey,you trying to be funny is it?'

Man: 'No.'

Sergeant: 'You are telling me that you are BATMAN, the son of SUPERMAN

Man: 'Yes'

Sergeant: 'You really too much you know, I can charge you for this offence
for lying your name to an officer. Show me your IC.'

Now take a look at the Boy IC.